I always make it a point to salute the fine American companies that go out of their way to make my life a living hell. Take the Sunbeam 10pc Home Haircutting Kit. For only $8, it looks like an affordable and easy way to do your own hair styling in the comfort of your own home! And I gotta say, right up until you open the box, it works perfectly!
Late one night my wife and I decided to try to use this little piece of sunshine to tame my unruly head of hair. All was right with the world until she brought the clippers to my head. Apparently, this innovative piece of equipment works not by cutting the hair, but by veritably ripping it from your scalp! As the blood flowed onto the bathroom floor, I could not have been more delighted.
After poring over the instructions, crying, and yelling at each other for nearly an hour, I decided that I literally could not take the pain anymore and disassembled the clippers to clean them in preperation for returning it to the store. It was then that a breakthrough occurred!
Right underneath the blade was a thick, evil sponge keeping the motor from properly moving! I checked and triple-checked the instructions! It was not mentioned! I could have saved myself so much trouble and anguish! After removing the sponge, the clippers worked perfectly!
That was a couple of months ago. Tonight when we tried to cut my hair again, making sure that Satan hadn't put the sponge back, no amount of prayer would make the thing even cut my hair. Seriously, after going at it and going at it for about twenty minutes, you can't even tell that anything has been trimmed. Alas, my patience has run out. The Sunbeam 10pc Home Haircutting Kit is useful for many things: tossing into the pool, smashing with a hammer, putting it in the microwave on high for twenty minutes. Unfortunately, cutting hair at home will never make that list.
Do yourself a favor. If you're ever tempted to buy this piece of Satanic spunk, see a priest immediately.
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