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Since I was about 7 years old, I've wanted a snake. My mother, however, was irrationally afraid of them. I later went to live with my grandmother, who was even more afraid of them. Later still, I went to live with my sister, who was the afraidest of them all. I finally married a female woman who was not afraid of snakes. It didn't take long before I acquired Jefferson C. Snake. Here is a chronicle of his life, from birth to death. Except I wasn't there when he was born. And he hasn't died yet. So, uh, just keep checking back.
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