www.jeffthefish.com

The following video from YouTube contains stupid:

So a stingray bit her.  No bigstopher.  Look at this adorable lil dude!  You almost want to get a delicate nibble from him:

Here is the video’s description:

A water based protein called “stingray venom” is one of/if not the worlds most painful venom.

Maybe I’m the stupid one, but I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing as a water-based protein. Maybe they mean that the animal that makes it lives in the water.  Ugh.

To elevate pain simply put one’s bite-mark in boiling water.

Why the hell do you want to elevate this poor girl’s pain? Doesn’t the sting hurt enough?  Oh wait, it was a bite, not a sting. I guess it really didn’t hurt enough.  But then what killed her?  These lunatics probably boiled her foot until she died.  Ugh.

The egg-yoke like consistency of the venom will solidify when heated thus preventing the painful spread throughout the bloodstream(It cooks like egg-yoke). Meghan was “stung”…

“…and by ’stung’ we mean ‘bitten’…”

…or attacked by a wild sea scorpion…

Wait, was it a sea scorpion or was it a stingray? Are you saying that you honestly can’t tell the difference between this:

And this:

Ugh.

…in it’s natural habitat the-ocean.

Saying that the ocean is the stingray / sea scorpion’s natural habitat is about as descriptive as saying that the ground is a bobcat / tarantula’s natural habitat.

A killer story for a killer audience bro. fatal 

Ah, so the story is what killed Meghan. And you put it on the internet so it could kill other people.  You’re a real mensch. Ugh.

Smart enough to use Google, but not smart enough to not be stupid. I bet you feel so guilty for being such a jackass now that Meghan is dead.

[James] Randi has recently converted to being a muslim.Peace upon you brother [Source]

Well….ok.  Thanks grandmastaaa!

“u just eat the last eggs of thats lizard now they are extinge”
[Source]

Here comes the first in what I hope to be an ongoing series (Lord knows there’s enough source material). Anyone should know that the comments on YouTube are simultaneously the best and worst thing on the Internet, a modern day symbol of the downfall of literacy and smartness.  It has been my dream to find the worst of them and make them famous.

The first video I want to highlight is of a catfish walking across a living room floor.  Everyone obsessed with fish knows that this a Walking Catfish, Clarias batrachus, so being on the carpet doesn’t hurt it at all.  They regularly leave their ponds and walk to other ponds. In fact, they populated southern Floriday by escaping from a pet shop.

On to the comments!

unless that can brief out of water u are evil

you should kill yourselves you heartless bastards

yeah muther fucker da fish ant gon die its a snke head you dip shit

A fish will calm down after a very short period of time. That is cruel what you did to that creature.

And that, I guess, does it for the first edition of The YouTube Unintentional Comedy Showcase!