Lately it's become evident from watching the news that President George W. Bush has truly made a mockery of this country. In a bipartisan effort to show the public what's best for America, I've compiled the following of things perpetrated, either purposely or blunderifically, by Satan himself, George W. Bush.
- Led America into an unnecessary war
- Took focus away from capturing Bin Ladin
- Raised gas prices by over 70% in the last year
- Took away the jobs of 2 million Americans and gave them to the nation of Halliburton
- Quintupled the number of letters it takes to spell "W".
- Inspired an American flavored Ketchup. Yuck.
- Enlisted the help of God to disenfranchise minority voters in Florida via Hurricanes Charlie, Frances, and Ivan.
- Made me stub my toe and now it's swollen and purple.
- Raised the price of Big 'N Tasties from $0.99 to $1.34
- Supported policies that made shaving razors for men 1/3 as sharp as under the Clinton administration.
- Refuses to have extramarital affairs
- Was born with the name George in an effort to force Americans to vote for him by identifying him with our first President.
- Illegally invented the Electoral College so that he could win Florida in 2000.
- Caused an increased number of SIDS deaths.
- Brought pigeons to New orleans.
- Suggested "Fried Catfish Friday" and "Mystery Meat Monday".
- Caused Professor Stillwell to dislike me.
- I now have to have oil changes six times a year. Not me, but my car.
- I have to go to work.
- Caused the cemeteries to weather.
- Supports SUV's, which ruin the weather.
- Caused my breath to stink.
- Michael Jackson allegedly molested children under Bush's watch.
- I'm chubby
- I tripped yesterday.
|
