www.jeffthefish.com

1. That Dr. Grant would suddenly jump out of a moving vehicle
2. Put your junk in that box
3. Profit!

I almost missed the fact that today is August 29.

Four years ago today, my city was destroyed. For the first time in my life I was living in New Orleans proper. I had just moved to the mid-city neighborhood three weeks before Hurricane Katrina. One day I went to work, the next day I spent 16 hours in a cramped minivan with a toddler, three other adults, a rat, and a cat. Jennifer and I had three days’ worth of clothes, our laptop, and our important documents.

I never went back to that job, and I never spent another night in that house. For two weeks I was effectively homeless. Strangers invited us to live with them in Seattle.

It was without a doubt the biggest thing I’ve ever been involved in. It ruined millions of lives, but it made mine. I am at home here. Thank you all.

Billy The Kid was killed by a lawman named Pat Garrett. Pat Garrett was killed by a rancher named Jessey Wayne Brazel. Jesse Wayne Brazel had a nephew name of Mac Brazel. Mac Brazel claimed that he’d found a debris field on his property from the UFO that allegedly crashed in Roswell in 1947.

I own a horseshoe I personally took from the ranch house located on that very property.

Here’s why this is interesting:

1. Pontiac is, of course, a make of vehicle produced by General Motors.
2. GM is, of course, based in Detroit.
3. I happened upon this article by searching for “Detroit Pontiac” because that’s the kind of thing I do for a paycheck.

On Saturday I called Geoff to ask for Geli’s phone number, which I wrote down on an Equal Exchange Espresso business card. I was going to a party at her house and realized that I’d left home without jotting down her address. It turned out i didn’t need to call her, because I ended up remembering how to get to her place.

Later that evening, we were all sitting around the campfire in Geli’s backyard and I was wishing I had something to burn when I remembered the card in my shirt pocket. That was not a very good sentence, I guess. I took the card with Geli’s number on it out of my pocket and held it in my hands for a few moments during which time, coincidentally, Geli mentioned that she’d forgotten her cell phone at home on a recent roadtrip to the Peninsula.

“I thought you were just avoiding me!” I said to Geli.

“You didn’t try to call me. You don’t even have my phone number.”

“Is it (555) 555-5555?”

“…OK now I’m really creeped out.”

Anyway, that’s not all that funny, but I like Geli.

I’ve always been a kind of nervous and insecure kid, though I don’t know how often it shows externally. To help me deal with this, I always have some kind of movie playing in the background of my mind that comes to the forefront when I get agitated or scared or nervous. I’ve done this at least as far back as junior high. Back then, if I found myself in an awkward social situation, or remembered something dumb I’d said, or thought about how I’d never have a girlfriend, a movie of me playing the song “Katie”, which I wrote with my band at the time, would play in my head and I’d feel better.

The movie has changed a few times, but that’s all that’s changed. As I aged and joined other bands, the song would change. Then I discovered Spider-Man, and the movie changed to me jumping off of a building and swinging from a web. Then Batman Begins came out, and the movie changed to me jumping off of a building and hang gliding on my cape.

This morning I realized that it’s changed again. Now when I find myself in an awkward social situation, or remember something dumb I’ve said, or think about how I’ll never have a girlfriend, I imagine myself playing a monome: