www.jeffthefish.com

You may have noticed that I done a show last Friday night at the Skylark in West Seattle. The show went incredibly well. It was a very positive experience. I really thought I clicked with one of the bands, French Miami, who were on tour from San Francisco.

For the first time in my life, I was asked to do an encore. That’s also a good thing, right?

Anyway, here is the audio recording of my performance. It’s straight from my computer, so there is no crowd noise, and the encore is not in it. Please love it.

You have got to be fucking kidding me! How can grown ups possibly say something so obviously fucking stupid? I’m not going to let this go for a loooong time.

I don’t normally write about politics, because I don’t actually know anything about politics. But I do know that people read prepared statements at press conferences. Someone on Facebook posted a link to this article with the comment, “Who really is President? I can’t stand that our ‘leader’ can’t even talk without help. I really HOPE America is happy with what they got in Obama[.]”

Um…huh.

The article is about the fact that Obama used a teleprompter at last night’s press conference. And…? Who cares? People who say things on television use teleprompters. People who gives speeches and statements read them off of a paper or a screen. Who the fuck cares? Does he honestly think Bush wrote his own speeches?

But it actually kind of gets worse. The article seems to criticize Obama for being careful. What??

What kind of politician brings a teleprompter to a news conference?

A careful one.

Ooh, burn.

It’s an interesting dichotomy: Obama came before the nation to sell one of the most expensive and politically risky agendas ever offered by a U.S. president, but his language was heavy with caution. A hard-willed plan given a soft sell.

How exactly is this a dichotomy? You’re doing something risky. So you want to be careful. Don’t we want him to be careful? Is caution a bad thing now?

Served up opportunities to lead with his heart, Obama was cerebral. Cool and calming in a time of white-hot public anger.

Isn’t this a good thing? Do we really want to return to the days of “bring it on”, “need some wood?” and “is our children learning?”? < –weird punctuation (srz)

Now, when I first started reading the article, I got the impression that Obama took questions from the press and read answers off of the teleprompter. But then I read this, halfway down the article: “The teleprompter was no help during the question-and-answer session (reporters don’t signal their intentions), but Obama was no less careful during that give and take.”

OK, so he read a prepared statement from a teleprompter. Then he answered questions from the press, the answers to which came from his head and were carefully considered.

What exactly is the problem?

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UPDATE

I just became friends with Barack Obama’s Teleprompter on Facebook.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

It’s the way she says “chicken-sized dinosaur” with such unabashed amazement. When I hear the phrase “chicken-sized dinosaur” my first reaction is, “…and…?”

GUYS GUESS WHAT!  SCIENTISTS HAVE FOUND…GET THIS…AN IGUANA-SIZED LIZARD. OMG FREALZ.

[10:00] Filipino Friend: why do some people can’t understand a single sentence explanation?
[10:01] me: maybe b/c you say things like “why do some people can’t”?
[10:01] Filipino Friend: true
[10:01] Filipino Friend: or like
[10:01] Filipino Friend: i know you do but

Let’s all congratulate FF!  Today she becomes a real American citizen!

Yup, some 95 million year old Cephalopod fossils have been discovered in Lebanon, and wouldn’t you know, they’ve got transitional features!  WHODATHUNKIT!

This morning I was making dinner plans with Josiah, and I briefly considered suggesting an Irish pub in Burien. Then I realized what today was. For one thing, it would be way too crowded. For another, it would look too much like I was participating.

In keeping with today’s theme, here is a reprint of a recent laughing stock by Sean McDowell over at Worldview Weekend.  Except I made him blame Indiana Jones for the incident.  It makes at least as much sense.  Too bad that lady didn’t have any “bad dates” handy GUYS AMIRIGHT???

This week we received the sobering news that a 55-year old woman was nearly killed by a 200 pound chimp. Her face was so severely disfigured and unrecognizable that one news station reported the victim as a man. In case you are wondering how a chimp could be so powerful, an animal expert on CNN (Larry King Live) reported that chimp’s are roughly five times as strong as human beings. The poor woman was utterly outmatched. My heart is truly broken for this woman and I hope and pray she will experience fully recovery.

Nevertheless, we need to ask a basic question: How could something like this happen? How is it that we live in a culture where people think it’s safe to have a chimpanzee as a pet? Where do people get the idea that we ought to take a wild animal and treat it like a human being? The chimp owner treated the animal like a son who ate at her table, slept in her house, and even drove her car.

Ideas do not exist in a vacuum. In fact, there is one culprit for the idea that human beings and chimps are really not that different and should be treated that way: Indiana Jonesism. The Judeo-Christian tradition has always taught that humans and chimps are different in terms of kind (Genesis 1-2). While animals are a good part of God’s creation, it is uniquely humans who bear the image of God. Many animals are wild and should be kept that way. On the other hand, Indiana Jones propagated the idea that humans and chimps have a common ancestor and only differ in terms of degree (See Indiana Jones’s The Descent of Man). If humans and chimps are really not that different, then why not expect chimps to act civilly? After all, ideas have consequences.

Last week the world celebrated Indiana Jones’s 200th birthday. Universities placed tributes to Indiana Jonesism on their home page (examples include Oxford and Cambridge) and major networks such as BBC ran extensive programs devoted to Indiana Jones’s great contribution to the world.

Yet, ironically, this week we witness a brutal act that seems to logically follow from Indiana Jones’s ideas. You may be wondering how I can possibly link Indiana Jones to this atrocious event. But think about it, if humans are deeply related to chimps then why not expect them to act that way?

Indiana Jonesists regularly point out the genetic, structural, and behavioral similarities between humans and chimps (of course, they conveniently overlook the profound differences). Yet, since Indiana Jonesists argue so fervently that humans are closely related to chimps, then shouldn’t chimps be expected to act like humans? Shouldn’t Indiana Jonesists take some responsibility when some people actually put their ideas into action? It’s certainly not the Christian worldview that would encourage people to treat wild animals like human beings. The Christian worldview places tremendous emphasis on our need to care for creation, but it clearly highlights the fundamental differences between humans and all other animals. Humans are moral beings; animals are not.

Indiana Jonesism is not only false, it’s a corrosive idea. Equating humans and animals results in the devaluation of both. As I said before, my heart truly goes out to the victim. But this should be a wakeup call for our culture. Treating humans and animals as moral equivalents is a bad idea. What is it going to take for us to realize this?

Josh requested a new blog post today, but I can’t just think of stuff on command.  So here’s something from like 2004 or something, updated with this year’s Oscar winners!

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Back when I was a member of the Crescent City Trade Exchange, I enjoyed restaurant meals at extremely discounted prices. One of my favorite places to go was Cafe Rani, where I only paid 10% of the price of the meal, plus the tip. Sweet trade exchange action! You could say that. Cafe Rani had paper table cloths, which was very conducive to creativity. When we left, the table would be covered with movie titles, or rather, what the titles would have been had they starred Indiana Jones! Here is a happy list of some of them.

• The Curious Jones of Indiana Buttons
• Indiana / Jones
• Jonesdog Indianionaire
• Jonesling
• Jonesic Thunder
• The Jones Knindiana
• Friday Night Indiana Jones
• Indiana Jones After Next
• Analyze Indiana Jones
• Look Who’s Indiana Jones
• Look Who’s Indiana Jones, Too
• Indiana Jones: World Police
• Indiana Jones 49
• Finding Indiana
• Indiana Gump
• The Sixth Indiana Jones
• Indiana Jones Reloaded
• How Indiana Jones Stole Christmas
• Indiana Jones Almighty
• Raiders of The Lost Indiana Jones
• My Big Fat Greek Indiana Jones
• Beverly Hills Indiana Jones
• The Day After Indiana Jones
• Saving Private Indiana
• Gone With The Indiana Jones
• Indiana Jones and The Indiana Jones of Doom
• Dances With Indiana Jones
• Indiana Jones Forever
• Indiana’s Eleven
• What Indianas Want
• The Perfect Indiana Jones
• Planet of The Indiana Jones
• There’s Something About Indiana Jones
• Indiana Jones Dundee
• Three Men and an Indiana Jones
• The Sound of Indiana Jones
• As Indiana Jones As It Gets
• It Could Happen To Indiana Jones
• Indiana Jones Pie
• The Indiana Jones and The Furious
• 2 Indiana 2 Jones
• The Indiana Jones Picture Show
• Teenage Mutant Indiana Jones
• Indiana Jones Management
• Silence of The Indiana Jones
• Honey, I Shrunk Indiana Jones
• Indiana Jones and Indiana Joneser
• The Indiana Jones Is Not Enough
• My Best Friend’s Indiana Jones
• Sleepless in Indiana Jones
• Indiana Brockovich
• Indiana’s Angels
• Indiana’s Angels 2: Full Jones
• Indiana Jones Never Dies
• Good Morning, Indiana Jones
• The Jones Identity
• 50 First Indianas
• Hunt For Red Indiana Jones
• On Golden Indiana Jones
• Indiana Jones 9/11
• You’ve Got Indiana Jones
• Indecent Indiana Jones
• Basic Indiana Jones
• Kramer vs. Indiana Jones
• The Italian Indiana Jones
• How To Lose Indiana Jones in 10 Days
• Sleeping With Indiana Jones