Spider-Man Dreams, Pt 3
The third and final installment in an ongoing series of recycled content.
07-24-04
I was either Spider-Man, or some other superhero who had lost his own costume and was using Spider-Man’s. But I’m pretty sure I was Spider-Man. Either way, I had breasts. I met up with my friend Batman who had lost all of his equipment save for one costume. We went into a house to put our costumes on under our clothes and prepare ourselves to go out in public. I put my Spider-Man costume on, and over that a pair of slacks and a white short-sleeve dress shirt and tie. Batman came over and put my mask on my head inside-out and said, “There, be Spider-Girl since you have breasts!” It kinda made me dizzy since the lenses were backwards, so I put it on the right way. Batman put his costume on under his street clothes (don’t ask me how!) and we went on our way. My wife said to me that I kinda looked stupid wearing a shirt and tie with my mask on, so I took it off. I looked down at my shirt and noticed that it was fairly thin and see-through! I asked Batman and Jennifer if it was noticeable, and Jennifer said, “not really, and even if someone does see it, it’ll just look like a bunch of fives.”
—
10-11-04
I was Spider-Man and I was helping Captain America and some other hero fight this huge villain called Juggernaut. He wasn’t the same Juggernaut that the X-Men fight, he was just a regular (bald) guy who got really big and strong and wore a clear plastic dome over his head. He was very powerful and couldn’t be hurt very easily. So after we heroes got punched around a good bit, I came up with an idea: we needed to chain him up! So I said, “I saw some chains in someone’s yard on my way here.” I swung over there on my webs, followed shortly after by Captain America and the other guy. As we were gathering the chains, the owners of the house came home and entered the back yard. It was an old black couple. The man said, “What’s going on…..Hey, Spider-Man!” He was very happy to see us. By this time, Juggernaut was gone, so I got out of costume and was walking down the street. I passed a guy I recognized as Juggernaut, but he was just regular man size. I decided to joke around with him and see if I could get any information out of him.
I said, “Hey, you’re that Juggernaut guy!”
And he said, “Yeah, I was just fighting some superheroes.”
“Oh really,” I said. “Which ones?”
“Umm….Captain America…”
“That guy’s an idiot! Was Spider-Man there?” I asked.
“Yeah, he was,” said Juggernaut.
“I can’t stand that guy! You know who I think he is? Bill Cosby. I think Spider-Man is Bill Cosby.”
Juggernaut looked thoughtful for a moment and said, “Yeah, he does remind me of Bill Cosby.”
—
11-04-04
Robin, as in Batman and Robin, was Spider-Man’s partner. Dr. Octopus was on the rampage, and Robin was the only one available to fight him. Robin also had mechanical octopus arms, though they were not as powerful as Doc Ock’s, and I think Robin may have only had two. Robin was at Aunt May’s house when Doc Ock came creeping around with the intention of murdering everyone inside. Robin came to the defense of the home. The fight was incredibly gruesome, though I can’t remember many of the details. At one point, Doc Ock picked up Robin and threw him so far away that he landed in a desert. Doc Ock leaped after him, and soon they were falling into a hole in the desert ground. Robin was clawing at the edge of the hole in an attempt to keep from falling to his death, and somehow Doc Ock was hanging on to Robin from below, trying to pull him down. Something dramatic happened, and Robin was able to crawl out of the hole. His mechanical arms were mostly severed from his body, and they were hanging by bloody bits of flesh. Entangled in this mess was Doc Ock’s severed head. Meanwhile, Doc Ock’s arms themselves were so angry that their owner had been killed that they ran back to Aunt May’s house in a fury, stormed into the house and started trashing the place. They picked up Aunt May and threw her down, possibly killing her. All the while, Spider-Man was sitting in the yard making flowers out of his webs, oblivious to the carnage. Something, though, made his spider sense go off. He almost ignored it, but decided he’d better check to see if something was wrong. He swung to the porch of the house, where he met the arms, which had somehow grown their own human head. The head was of a bearded, balding, middle aged man. It was yelling in unfettered rage at Spider-Man, and its voice sounded very computerized.
Stumble it!
