www.jeffthefish.com

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m looking awfully forward to living in the future. There’s going to be so much cool stuff, and so many more cool dogs. At this time of year, most people are looking back on 2007 and making best of / worst of / most ok of lists, but not jeffthefish.com. Today I present you with Seven Awesome Things About The Future:

1. Space Lincoln. I read about an episode of Star Trek in which Kirk had to fight an Abraham Lincoln in space. I don’t know if he’ll actually fight Capt. Kirk when he arrives, but even the possibility of Lincoln returning and living in space gives me the vageezies! I mean, who’s he gonna free next?

2. Space Houses. Seriously, guys, help me out! The existence of space houses suggests a whole new world of space technology: space blocks, space ordinances, YOU NAME IT!!

3. Space Banking. What better way to make a lot of g’s and than in 0g??? The only inflation you have to worry about in space is cosmic inflation, which may not even exist! I don’t know if it does or not. I only read the first couple sentences of the Wikipedia article.

4. Space Answers. As far as I can tell, this is what every honest intellectual really wants, or really should want. Expect answers like:

• the answer to certain questions
• the answer to problems you may have
• the answer to back pain (maybe)

5. Space Buildings (see Space Houses). Once I realized the potential of space buildings, going to work everyday in a ho-hum earthbound structure lost all of its magic. I just couldn’t stand that it was stuck to the ground, and to be a little honest, I started to get mad that when I looked out of my window all I could see was the Persian restaurant instead of outer space. Working at night alleviated this somewhat.

6. Space Memories. Ah, who could forget space memories? Won’t it be nice to look back fondly on something and realize it took place in space, and being in space while doing the looking back to boot? The answer is yes.

7. Possible Return of the Dinosaurs. True, most people don’t like global warming, but what they are really afraid of is the possibility that it will bring about the return of the dinosaurs. I realize this is an unpopular opinion, and as you know I shy away from controversy, but I’m here to tell you that if dinosaurs do return, that’s a good thing.

Well guys, that’s all seven awesome things about the future. I hope you learned from them. And since it’s Holidays Time, I’d like to leave you with a bonus item: One Thing I’ll Really Miss About Earth:

1. Good Tapes. You already know about good tapes.

Stumble it!

Posted on Wednesday, December 5th, 2007 in Category Funs. Please comment, ok?